As
Mothers
Day approaches, my
thoughts go out to all my sisters in the world, who may be mothers or
not,
because women are so often the loving nurturer of their environment.
Mother’s
Day is all about
reminding us to show appreciation to our mothers. It is so important for
us to
be valued, recognized, acknowledged, appreciated or loved because these
are
intrinsic fundamental needs of ALL human beings, including women.
When we
feel appreciated in our
relationships, we feel loved and then we experience an increased level
of
self-worth.
For
some
reason the person that I
was searching for approval and recognition the most in my life was my
brother.
When I
was a
child, my brother
used to tell me to do adventurous things that we considered dangerous.
He would
say: “Do it if you are a man!” and of course I would do the daring
things he
suggested, like jumping from a wall, climbing a tree, catching a soccer
ball in
the goals or receiving an arrow on the apple set on top of my head (that
was
our Robin Hood game!).
I
forgot to
tell you that my
athletic brother is 7 years older than me...So yes, he was very proud of
me and
I was as brave as any boy!
What my
brother taught me is that
I am equal to everybody whatever the gender and that by not expressing
fear I felt
invincible and appreciated by him. I understand now that I am an adult
how
earning his appreciation increased how I value myself.
Mothers
in
particular do not ask anything
in return for their love and care. They learn from their own mothers to
be
selfless, giving, patient and generous of their time without any limit.
The
down side of this education pattern is that mothers do not learn to
acknowledge
their value and communicate their own needs. Such lack of open and
sincere
communication may be leading to frustration and unhappiness if not
corrected
through self-actualization.
Mothering
syndrome can also apply
to men because many of them (like my own husband) can be great nurturers
as
well. So let me ask the nurturer part of your heart, how can you find
self-value without compromising your sense of duties and
responsibilities?
In
other
words, what is the most
important thing that brings joy or relaxation to your daily life? What
are your
needs? What or who limits you from getting those needs fulfilled?
For
example
one of my clients
shared that he loves going fly fishing all over the word on a regular
basis.
When he is fishing surrounded by beautiful nature he is in flow, in the
present
moment, with a feeling of wholeness and peace. To keep the freedom of
being
able to travel he decided with the agreement of his wife not to have
more
children.
If you
feel
that your mother did
not give you what you needed to be emotionally stable and
self-confident, try
to understand what her challenges and difficulties might have been. What
lessons have you learned from it? Can you now with the maturity of your
adulthood, understand, forgive and finally appreciate the whole purpose
behind
your childhood?
How
could
you show to your
mother,if she is still on
this
earth that you value, appreciate and love her? If your mother is in
heaven, how
can you tell her with a symbolic gesture how much she means to you since
our
souls are eternal?
I
personally value, recognize and
acknowledged all of you, children of a mother.
Namaste,
Fabienne.
PS. Don’t
be a stranger, please
share your feelings and inspirations...
